Dear Precious Girl,
This is not something I thought I’d ever be writing about. I never thought I’d be an expert on being single and not fitting in because of it. But, I also never thought that at 16, I would be happy, full, in love, and in a super healthy relationship… with God. Yeah, I’m still single, but that’s okay. And today, I want to tell you why.
Being single didn’t always come so easily to me. It took three years of hard work, dedication, and some of the most sincerest pain anyone could ever feel. That desire never fully goes away, but with prayer and most definitely a lot of tears, you can feel happy, full, and blessed from your heads to your toes.
My story to freedom obviously starts with captivity. A little over three years ago I was captive. Captive to the to the thought and desire that I needed a boyfriend. I needed a boyfriend to fit in, to be normal, to be a human being. News flash, precious girl: you don’t need a boyfriend to be any of those things! When God’s timing is right, you’ll have yourself a boyfriend. Not a day before, not a day after and when you do, you will cherish and love that guy with everything in you because, you had a wait to get there. And trust me, I can’t even begin to imagine how priceless that feeling will be! That feeling, that desire will become manageable one day and it will be one of the greatest days of your life.
Now, I can’t discuss freedom from desires and passions without discussing those desires and passions from a Biblical perspective. In Genesis one, it talks how man (Adam) was lonely so, God created for him a partner. A wife. A woman. As women, we all have a natural, God-given desire for a husband (yeah, I just said those passions and desires are God-given). You may be in shock by what I just said. That all the pain and anguish you are experiencing from that horrible struggle of being single, is God-given. When I realized that, it seemed like my whole life had literally been a lie. No one had ever explained to me that the pain you feel was given by God. He created us to desire a life long partner and friend. It’s in our DNA! But just because it’s in our DNA, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. You might be wondering why a loving, compassionate Father would inflict pain and anguish upon His children. It’s to draw His daughter closer to Him.
That’s the key, Precious Girl. Draw close to your Heavenly Father when you feel down, and hurt, and upset about not having the desires of your heart. It’s ok to scream, cry, and wonder why, but know that God has a purpose. God’s purpose for my singleness is so that I can serve and be really involved in my youth group and church. If I were dating right now, it would be a lot more difficult to find time to fill in for someone at the last minute or even read my Bible and spend time with God. It’s easy (especially in this day and age) to become obsessed with your boyfriend and put everything else on the back burner, including your Father.
Ya know what the beautiful thing about our great Father is? It’s the fact that even though we mess up and fall short daily, He loves us with an unending, undeniable, awesome love! God’s love is so encompassing, we’re drowning in an ocean of it and can’t possibly ever get out. Which brings me to the that fact that if you truly have that love (being a Christian and living as a good one), you will be a whole ‘nother level of satisfied with what you do have. The most amazing, matchless, phenomenal love any gal could ever experience. So, here I am. Challenging you, Precious Girl, to dig into God’s Word, to get involved at church, to find ways to share that beautiful love that fills your soul with any and everyone you meet.
Precious Girl, that discouragement that you’re feeling that is causing you to question everything you’ve ever thought about yourself, isn’t healthy, isn’t good, but it should strengthen your walk with Christ. Christ will replace those feelings of doubt and discouragement with feelings of joy and confidence. He desires for you to be that girl, not the boy-crazy one. He’s there for you always. More than any guy could ever be. Love you, Precious Girl!! Take on this single season like I know you can!!
Blessings Always,
Sav
Look at my thoughts and views on relationships at sixteen years old (also, at the fact that I thought I was an expert). For the most part, I was right. But just last year, I didn’t understand the complications of this topic. After some Facebook messages and emails, I slowly began to understand that not always does God have marriages and/or relationships as part of His plan for that child.
The reason why I feel the need to stress this, is because it’s important realize that God’s plan is different for each person. For some people, it’s in God’s plan for them to start dating, get engaged and then married, and to have children when the time is right. Some people can’t physically have children, some people can’t marry the one they love due to parent’s wishes, or a sickness, maybe even death, and some people are taken from this earth before they get to experience some of the greatest things in life. All those awful things sometimes are a part of God’s plan.
If you had asked me when I was sixteen what I thought my life would be like at seventeen, I would’ve told you that I would most likely be going out with somebody, because who can resist all this (more people than you think, but it’s fine), and that I would get to go to prom and experience all those other senior year things. I’m here to you that I am not in a relationship and that as far I’m concerned, there is not one on the horizon. I’ve given up on the prom dream because sometimes our dreams aren’t God’s will and we need to be content in what is His will. I’m content. I’m happy. Most of the time. I’m not going to make it sound like single life in this day and age is all sunshine and lollipops, because it’s not. It’s hard. It hurts. I have faced more struggles in this year alone than I have in all my other years of being single. But I will tell y’all this. Make a decision to follow God’s will for your life and you might be amazed at how your point of view changes.
This time last year, I would have started a relationship with anyone who asked me simply because it was a person who wanted to start a relationship with me. Now, on the other hand, I wouldn’t do that for all the money in the world. Senior year is tough. Everyone is leaving in a few short months. Everyone is growing in different directions and saying goodbye is the hardest part. I would never dream of causing myself and someone else the heartache of leaving just as you’re getting to know them. I don’t want to waste my last few months as a kid by trying to be mature in a relationship that probably won’t last anyway.
I am content with God’s will and God’s plan for my life because it’s much better than any of my dreams or plans. The biggest point of this entire post is learn to be content with where you are. That doesn’t mean that you should get complacent or to lose the desire to move different places and do different things because that’s not what God wants you to do. He wants you to trust that He has it all under control and knows what’s best.
So Precious Girl, learn this lesson early. Save yourself from heartache and hurt (not the same thing. Trust me). Trust that God knows exactly what He is doing and that His timing is more perfect than yours could ever be. Oh, and one more thing. Cling to God when the comments of others sting. Words are like bees. They sting and you have to scrape that stinger out, otherwise; you will get infected and be in more pain than you ever would have been in before. Don’t let it get to you Precious Girl, because you have God on your side.